Bridges Global Blog

Harnessing Authentic Power

esoltis@bridgesglobal.net (ELIZABETH SOLTIS) — Mon, 25 Nov 2024 19:13:04 GMT

Inner coherence is the by-product of owning our authentic power.

Authentic power is a noun, verb and adjective.

As a noun…
Authentic power is the essence of our being. It emanates from Life as a universal energy, accessed with every breath. Like our essence of love, we carry this energy as our birthright. It comes from Self versus self. We are a conduit that streams this energy in service to Life. Marianne Williamson eloquently described human beings as lamps, with a cord that connects to an electricity Source. Our authentic power comes from this Source, however you define it. We are born with the capacity to “light up.” The question is, how often do we choose to plug in?

By virtue of being human, we all have the same potential to carry and express authentic power. Our hearts beat the same. So, if power is a universal, delta, Life-force energy, why do we experience varying degrees of power? Put another way, if authentic power originates from an inner fountain that never runs dry, how do we block the flow?

While it seems that people naturally want to harness their authentic power to fulfill on their purpose, many obstructions impede the current of energy. This can include trauma, low self-esteem, avoidance of self-responsibility, lack of clarity on values, procrastination, conflicting commitments, holding on to grievances, poor boundaries and victim consciousness. When we unblock our flow, and move into right relationship with self, our power once again surges. Great wisdom, love, passion and understanding streams forth. Every day, we choose to use our power as a source of corruption or a force for good. While accessing our power is an archetypal journey that knocks on everyone’s door, our choice is what determines our experience of power...and collaboration.

As a verb…
The expression of authentic power is the exercise of will in supporting self and others. It follows the energy of desire. With self-awareness, we are more apt to notice our desires and from where they come. We are well-served in questioning whether our desire comes from our ego personality or the guidance of our soul, the aspect within that is eternal.

If the desire we feel is aligned with our heart yearning and our soul’s destiny path, we become powerful co-creators with Life. When we exercise the will of our heart, we keep the big picture in mind while noticing the generosity of Life. If desire is rooted in our personality, it may be wise to loosen the clench of reactivity and attachment to outcome. Over attachment to desire is another way we block the flow. We can suffocate relationships, narrow our focus, react impulsively, constrict our joy and sabotage collaboration. If we become zealous to make things happen with our will, our actions may seem powerful to others but it’s blinding (and often limiting) to the doer. Non-attachment offers power, freedom, autonomy and greater choice.

As an adjective…
Authentic power is rooted in alignment. This alignment is felt and broadcasted when our thoughts, words and actions are in sync. On a deeper level, power alignment is experienced when our personality merges with our soul, our mind harmonizes with our heart, our masculine is in service to our feminine and our body is grounded in Earth. A feeling of unity, vitality and inner coherence ensues. Charisma springs forth as this quality of power produces a magnetic energy. When we are in this inner space of alignment, we are centered. We can sense it in our bones. Without a doubt, it’s an empowered feeling to experience alignment in having our inner parts operate in harmony. When we cultivate this quality of aligned power from the inside out, collaboration takes on a whole new vibration.

To align with power, calm the mind to better understand what’s happening within and around us. Pause, notice and validate our interior experience before discerning how power is being used or misused. If we lose inner power, notice where the leak is and how it shows up in our behavior. It’s important to not “collect” power per say but rather to continually let go and allow the energy to move through us. In strengthening our connection with our heart, we augment our power. We relate with greater honesty and self-trust. Others are given permission to follow suit. Essentially, the vision of authentic collaboration encourages us to come into right relationship with power.

TRY THIS: Reflect on these questions in a journal or with a trusted partner:

· How do I strengthen and weaken my authentic power?

· How do I express my power and move my will into action?

· What is one way I can deepen my alignment with and live my heart truth?

To enhance your authentic power, contact Bridges Global .

Elizabeth Soltis

www.bridgesglobal.net

Bridge-Building: A Metaphor for Meaningful Connection

esoltis@bridgesglobal.net (ELIZABETH SOLTIS) — Thu, 04 May 2023 19:33:00 GMT

A bridge is a powerful metaphor for relationship-building and meaningful connection.

“Let’s build bridges, not walls.” Martin Luther King Jr.

Since meaningful connection is a relationship bridge, let’s further inspect the metaphor of a bridge. As a universal symbol, a bridge epitomizes authentic collaboration. It spans a physical divide, linking two fixed points that may otherwise never meet. We too can learn how to affirm each other despite relational divides.

The structure of a bridge connects seemingly disconnected parts, spanning that which separates. As such, a bridge is a powerful link that allows us to travel to new landscapes. Similarly in relationship, a bridge assists us to cross over and discover different perspectives, ideologies, personalities and ideas. Bridge-building reduces isolation, enabling us to join together in spite of differences.

Just as all the parts of the bridge are necessary for the thoroughfare to be functional and strong, all aspects of self and others serve a purpose when collaborating. When we mistreat people, and burn the relational bridge, it takes a concerted effort to meet in the messy middle section to repair the relationship. In every culture, the bridge is a mighty symbol for connection and shared understanding.

A bridge is also the perfect symbol for reciprocity. From this space of give-and-take, the spirit of ayni or reciprocity can take root with its magical blend of mutual gain. We can learn to sit alongside each other to understand rather than confront with oppositional energy. On this passageway, we unite even when we are separated by the ground of our differences.

Bridges remind us that we can join the far right and far left while finding a midpoint of balance. In so doing, an and-both conversation can unfold. We can step beyond our isolating positions and find a middle ground. With curiosity, a bridge signifies that new insights and learning are always on the horizon.

Even though we’ve been educated to separate through things like body comparison, different learning styles, gender stereotypes and reward and punishment, a bridge can span this divide. What’s needed is courage to cross-over with an open heart. When we find ourselves in the crevasse of disagreements, mindful communication can still support connection.

A bridge reminds us that unity is possible.

TRY THIS: Respond to these questions in a journal as a reflective, self-awareness exercise.

What do you see as your bridge-building strengths and growing edges?
How can you practice mindful bridge-building with someone you describe as “difficult?”
How can you serve as a connector when conflict arises?
From your perspective, what bridge-building behaviors are most important?

Elizabeth Soltis

Seven Levels of Listening

esoltis@bridgesglobal.net (ELIZABETH SOLTIS) — Mon, 01 May 2023 22:31:39 GMT

To appreciate the multifaceted nature of listening, I've developed the "Seven Levels of Listening."

“The deepest listening is presence—it’s consciousness itself.

It is space, an open heart, compassion and a deep receiving of someone.” Thomas Hübl

For self-development, I’ve developed a framework entitled, “Seven Levels of Listening.” This spectrum is cumulative, with one level building to support the next. It highlights listening distinctions that weave into the authentic collaboration bridge framework.

Just as brain surgeons understand the distinctions of the brain, with all its regions and functions, we too can expand our understanding of listening to support the health of our relationships.

In considering these seven levels, we see that listening is not a black-and-white skill. It’s a highly nuanced competency in facilitating authentic collaboration.

1. Distracted

Distracted listening reveals a scattered or unsettled mind. The listener tunes in and out while thinking of a response. The speaker feels distant. What is communicated is only partially received.

2. Background Self-Talk

Rather than fully listen, attention is given to self-talk. Background self-talk includes assumptions, judgment and dualities such as right-wrong, good-bad, agree-disagree, dominate or submit, scarcity-abundance, attack-defend and win-lose. This listening filter takes precedence over what’s said.

3. Heart Presence

By connecting with heart, the listener becomes present, aware and available to lean into what’s communicated. The interaction is held with care. Validating what’s said allows the speaker to be seen and heard. No-fault listening is demonstrated, even if there’s disagreement.

4. Active Listening

The listener slows down the conversation by reflecting back what’s heard for shared understanding. Phrases include, “What I hear you saying is…is that so?” “Did I understand correctly that you meant…”. As interpretations are set aside, the mind becomes open, curious and receptive.

5. Empathetic Listening

By sensing into the speaker’s underlying feelings and needs, the listener understands that people are emotional beings and behavior is an attempt to meet needs. Empathetic listening tunes into the music between the notes or the meaning beyond the words. With empathy, blocks to action dissolve.

6. Emergent Listening

With pauses, emergent listening patiently waits to see what wants to come forward. Since communication is “pregnant with meaning,” listening becomes generative. Something new can be born such as an idea or insight. Non-verbal or meta-messages are honored as in silence, tears or a big exhale.

7. In Service to Life

A reflection practice bridges to the soul. Source is channeled¬—a vast field of consciousness where there is nothing yet everything. As a sacred witness, the listener becomes an empty vessel in service to Life. Self, others and Earth are seen with new eyes. Oneness becomes a felt experience.

TRY THIS: To deepen self-awareness, reflect on these questions:

Overall, how would you describe your listening?
With the seven levels of listening, what are your strengths and growing edges?
What background conversation gets in the way of your listening?
What are your common listening habits?
Ask people for feedback on how you listen. What surprises you?

Contact us to further develop your team’s listening skills.

Elizabeth Soltis

esoltis@bridgesglobal.net

Unpacking Authenticity

esoltis@bridgesglobal.net (ELIZABETH SOLTIS) — Mon, 01 May 2023 22:23:12 GMT

The word authenticity comes from the Greek word authentes , which means acting on one's own authority.

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” Carl Jung

With the authentic collaboration vision, authentic is the key descriptor. The word authenticity comes from the Greek word authentes , which means acting on one’s own authority. The term implies being grounded in our values, emotions and ethics. It speaks to the precondition of self-awareness. Each day, moment to moment, cultivating self-knowledge is an ongoing investment in becoming who we truly are. In doing so, our confidence and conviction grows. We give ourselves permission to own our uniqueness. As an act of liberation, we go against the grain of conformity and take a stand to be genuine. In some circles, it’s a profound choice to be loyal to self.

Inherent in authenticity is the pursuit of inner coherence. The process of inner coherence is about aligning our mind, gut intelligence and emotions with our heart. When we attune within and sync into ayni (the principle of respect and reciprocity), we move into the joy of right relationship. With greater ease, our words, thoughts and action meld in harmony. Intention and mindful breathing help to facilitate this process.

For support, I ask Earth to be my authenticity partner. When I walk in nature, I instinctually feel Earth’s coherence. She reminds me what it’s like to live in a state of flow and unity. I’ve come to understand that becoming intimate with myself enables me to enjoy intimacy with others.

Authenticity is also a call to deepen integrity and experience the integral sense of being “whole and complete.” Authentic wholeness arises when there’s congruency between what we say, mean and do. When we relate from our inner center of love and wholeness, we reclaim our belonging to Life. With Life at our back, our integrity ramps up our authentic power. We express in a clear and compelling manner. We stop hiding our fears and compromising our values. We bravely reveal who we are. We are true to ourselves while remaining open and receptive to what matters to others. Collaborating with mutual respect becomes natural.

That said, authenticity is often a challenge. Our culture unwittingly fosters inauthentic expression. Society gives us rules and benchmarks to follow, promotes people pleasing, encourages workaholism and feeds perfectionism. These social tensions can override our desire for authenticity. Furthermore, some family cultures discourage people from developing a healthy sense of self. Relationships become enmeshed if a strong other focus was consistently modelled from an early age. It’s not uncommon to hear people say they “lose themselves” in an intimate relationship. In addition, there are people who define themselves by their roles. When roles change or cease, the unquestioned assumptions come to light, revealing the dark crevice of the unknown. The question, “Who are you, really?” can leave behind a dusty trail of confusion.

In some circumstances, it’s risky to authentically express. If a strong power imbalance is at play, relating authentically can be destabilizing. There may be negative consequences. Relationships may end. One time, I lost a job because I spoke my truth without carefully considering the implications. I also witnessed a friend who believed that to be loved, she had to be different from who she was. This belief shut-down her authentic voice. Ultimately, wise discernment is needed to decide who and when to speak to about what and how much to disclose. Only we know how to weigh authentic expression with self-protection.

Balancing being open with the appropriateness of the context is tricky. When I’m unsure, I carve out silence and ask my body’s wisdom to guide me. In a body centric dialogue, I listen deeply to the sensations within. I bring laser focus to what has me feel expanded and contracted, what opens me into authenticity and what shuts me down. Unlike the mind, the body never lies.

Authenticity is not like turning a light fixture on or off. Rather, it has a dimmer switch. We continually choose the degree to which we honestly share. How we authentically express fluctuates depending on our childhood template, our relationship history, our degree of self-awareness and our perception of safety. When we experience rapport and caring, communicating authentically may be relatively easy. Yet, when conflict erupts and an attack-defend posture takes over, authenticity is often the first victim.

But here’s the upside: We already are authentic human beings. We’ve simply covered it up with the conditioning, defenses and protective coping strategies that we learned in our childhood. So, for most of us, living and collaborating authentically is a life-long journey of discovery. The process starts with radical self-honesty. When authenticity deepens, self-connection amplifies. We become our own best friend.

Authenticity is a choice toward greater freedom and empowerment. In this field of resonance, we begin attracting people who also value this quality of relating. When we listen to our desires, needs and values, our authentic expression expands. We access concealed wisdom. When we connect with our truth, we know better, and we do better. When we’re authentic with ourselves, we authentically collaborate with others.

TRY THIS: As you respond to these questions in a journal, challenge yourself to deepen your authenticity.

What helps and hinders my ability to authentically relate?
What masks am I ready to let go of?
How do I describe my uniqueness?
How do I alter my behavior based on what others think?

Elizabeth Soltis

esoltis@bridgesglobal.net

Authentic Collaboration with Self, Others and Earth

esoltis@bridgesglobal.net (ELIZABETH SOLTIS) — Mon, 01 May 2023 22:11:37 GMT

We can expand our collaboration consciousness by valuing our relationship with self, others and Earth.

“[Because] all life is interrelated, we are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality;

tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly.”

Martin Luther King Jr.

As Albert Einstein taught, “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” In the context of authentic collaboration, expanding consciousness includes appreciating our relationship with self, other people and Earth.

In our interconnected world, each relationship informs and affects the others. Even though we often do not collaborate by actively considering Earth, the natural world is in everything and everyone. By ramping up consciousness of all our relations, this holistic perspective alters both our path and the outcome of any collaboration.

Authentic collaboration espouses an attitude of respect for self and others. Others includes Earth or Life. These words are used interchangeably because Earth is Life. Authentic collaboration is thereby a win-win-win holistic proposition. As a foundational ethic, it’s about valuing both humans and non-human beings. In the circle of Life, we are never outside the ring. With this awareness, even the effect of hierarchy can transform so that diverse voices are welcomed and held with care. Embodying this mindset brings the beauty and power of ayni or right relationship into our everyday life.

Many of us narrow our focus to respect only important and immediate relationships. Family and friends are central in our world, ranking as a priority. In government and business, people at the so-called “top” are often given extra attention and support. We see those who wield financial wealth as having more power. What would it look like to expand respect to include strangers, neighbors and those who sit at the “bottom” of our social hierarchy? In the eyes of Life, we are all residents of Earth first and foremost. Dust to dust, we come from this terrestrial planet, and one day our bodies will return. Earth is the great equalizer.

Since Earth is our constant source of sustenance, it serves us well to discern how we relate with her. When we deeply appreciate and immerse ourselves in nature, we elicit greater sensory awareness. We activate the wild wisdom within. By acknowledging the intricacy, richness and beauty of the natural world, we gain understanding about relationships overall. Beyond the self, Earth is an animated, sacred being, deserving of care for her own sake. Accordingly, the full human experience of collaboration ought to include consideration for all who carry the breath of Life.

Taken further, consider that each aspect of self, others and Earth is a mirror to the other two. In the shamanic world, it is well-understood that our words and actions toward people are a projection of how we relate to self and Earth. Our relationships are but a reflection of how we think. When we change, people reflect that back to us with their behavior. In shifting our attitude, our outer circumstances begin to transform. Unwittingly, we produce an ongoing cycle of feedback. Every interaction is an opportunity to know ourselves more so.

Ponder the following examples. If we feel cut off from our heart, this separation will, on some level, show up in how we relate to nature and to other people. We may find ourselves communicating from the neck up rather than bringing forth our full-body truth. If we power-over Earth in overconsuming her resources, we can see how this translates into collective patterns of oppression and force. Culturally, we see evidence of abuse, rejection and violence. And, we also notice micro-aggressions such as interrupting people, issuing commands or stuffing our feelings. I see these behaviors as different mirror facets. The looking glass reflects the wound of separation—within and between.

Conversely, if we respect and understand the symbiosis of the natural world, we also bring this reciprocating energy to our relationships. When we advocate for our precious biodiversity, we take a stand for the value of all beings on Earth—including ourselves. In the system of Life, nothing exists in isolation. Our outer reality and inner subjective world are interwoven into the same fabric. Each relationship is a fractal image of the whole.

With this in mind, the authentic collaboration bridge road has three lanes dedicated to self, others and Earth. It’s a holistic passageway. Consciously and unconsciously, we pass in and out of these lanes every day, as each one guides and sustains the others. In practicing authentic collaboration, each lane has the potential to generate a desirable outcome: the lane of self builds confidence, the lane of others engenders belonging and the lane of Earth brings forth harmony. As a way of enriching and uplifting all aspects of our lives, this three-lane journey is well worth exploring.

TRY THIS: In a journal, reflect on and respond to these questions:

How would you describe your relationship with yourself?
How do you nourish your relationship with Earth – your source?
How can you grow your relationship with others by deepening your heart connection with self and Earth?

Elizabeth Soltis

esoltis@bridgesglobal.net